ahhhh...*sigh*....

Blank canvas. So nice.

I had a lot to cover....but suprise...it's all gone. I'm off work until 2008 (with a brief, one day of work on thursday....but really). It's so nice. I can't believe how much I can sleep. Apparently I've been needing that.

I was thinking the other day about my whole "living in someone else's bubble" thing. I think I blogged about it (or xanga'd about it at one point). It's the idea of driving down the road and realizing that for one moment in time, I am headed in the same direction as everyone else around me....but that we're really all headed to different destinations. It's just facinating. There are times I see that in life too. At work, we're all pointed to similar goals/objectives...but our lives spin out from that point of similarity. We have just a brief moment to touch those around us. It's intimidating and exhilirating all at the same time. So much opportunity....but at the same time I feel there's risk. Does any of that make sense? It's a continuing theme of mine....finding purpose in the day-to-day routine.

I heard a stat once that women would choose a job based on the impact they could have....and men choose a job based on the money they would make. There are so many opportunities to make an impact....I can think of two specifics from the past couple of weeks....but it's harder to find them sometimes than I feel it should be. I just want to make the world better....or at least make someone's personal world better. But it's a scary thing to do. It sounds eays...."just be nice and interested"....but there's always the chance that the concern/interest/involvement will be rejected and harshly. Not that it stops me....but there's a pause.

Anyway. At small group tonight, praying before dinner, someone prayed "thank you Jesus for leaving heaven and coming down to earth". And it struck me. Not that it's new news....but Jesus didn't just come to earth as man....he left heaven. To die. You look at His life on earth....and it wasn't easy by any means. It had to be downright depressing at times. His fully man portion must have wondered if he was making any impact at all. Eternally, he knew, he was going to have the impact of all impacts. But in a day to day life....every day didn't have a win.

There was a county song on the radio tonight, and the lyrics were so impactful to me. (i cried, but that seems to be the standard lately...don't know why). It talks about a man crossing a bridge who sees another man leave his cardboard box and approach him. The homeless man begs the other man for a few coins...and then says he wasn't always like this. He was second to none....he had his moments. The other man hesitates and then replies that he wasn't always the man he was....he had his moments when he was down and out too. And the song ends with the first man singing that he saved a man's life as he aimed to jump off the bridge. And in that moment, I realized how blessed I am. It's all in your perspective, isn't it. While I may hit my snags of depression....I need to step back and realize just how good I have it. I have a car. I have a house. I have the means to buy my friends and family gifts. I am dressed warmly and well. I have food for my table and some money in savings. Perspective. Perspective. Looking at life from the underneath of a bridge....with my cardboard box behind me....I don't think i could live it. But God is good. All the time. And even so, it is well with my soul. Perspective, it's everything.

Didn't mean to end on a down note. Instead, Merry Christmas. Remember the amazing gift we've been given....Jesus Christ in the form of man joining us on earth. In a few short months we'll be celebrating his death and resurection....but for now....let's celebrate the sacrifice he made....leaving heaven in order to give us the choice to join Him there someday. that's a pretty big WOW in my book.
Love you all.
-me.