I had a great conversation tonight with my roommate from sophomore year. So great. We covered a lot of ground, and there are some topics about which I want to blog....so as not to forget.
One of the things I've been thinking about a lot lately is how to manage the struggle between working in a world that is essentially still masculine while remaining feminine. There's this expectation that to succeed in business, you must be independent, strong, opinionated....essentially wear some pants, grow some balls. Well, that's fine - that's not just taught in business school, it's actually taught from birth. Somehow I walked away with this perception that it's not okay to worry about breaking a nail, messing up my hair, and wondering who's going to pump my gas. I somehow got the message that being "girly" is not okay if I expected to make anything worthwhile of myself. On the other side of the coin, however, is this expectation that to get married/become a wife/be a good girlfriend you have to be feminine. You have a better chance if you're dependent instead of independent, unopinionated instead of opinionated, and super girly instead of do-it-yourself. And while there are those challenging this thought - it seems as though it may be true. And so while it can be argued that the world is a better place for women today, I would argue that it's more difficult: Choose the masculine traits and you'll succeed in business (but fail in love or end up with a guy who's ball-less)...OR...choose the feminite traits, and you'll succeed in love (but never make it in a real job). It's a struggle I'm focusing more and more on....is it possible to succeed at both? Or does it just appear possible and fail in reality/behind the scenes/in the nitty gritty. Bottom line - I subscribe to the thought that there is a difference between men and women....and as women we have a lot more learning to do before we reclaim our identities.
The other topic we covered was in regard to a speaker my friend heard at a recent class she's attending. The speaker covered the history of the church through it's rises and falls. The interesting point that was made was that a country/entity/city/etc, through it's fall, would spread the word of God. Through the country's loss of land or power, another nation gained...not just in land or power...but also in spiritual knowledge and growth. The speaker saw the 9/11 events as a precurser to the eventual fall of the US. My mind immediately flew to the fall of Rome and conditions post demise. I'm seeing myself in rags, digging in the gutter. But then I recalled everyone's favorite book, "The World Is Flat", and realized my immediate perception was most likely not potential reality. Our fall could be in power....or in industry/jobs....etc. Perhaps it will look like the US as sweatshops to the rest of the world. Perhaps it will look like a loss of brain power as our college/post-college educated citizens leave for better jobs in <*insert country here*>. Or could it be a moral fall. Could it be that the US is destined to fall into complete moral depravity. Where our country is no longer held up as a dream life - but instead portrayed as what to avoid. There are many possibilities - but an interesting aspect that actually just occurred to me is how the panic that invades me at the thought of the demise of the US could actually raise the concern that perhaps I've placed faith in a nation instead of in God. A fallen America has no eternal impact...and yet I think the thought freaks people out. Interesting.
Okay. I had/have more - but I need to sleep. Perhaps more later.
Out friends,
-R
3 comments:
Rebekah,
In response to your first paragraph; I find this problem completely real, and only growing. Ironically, the lines become even more blurred when you step into the 'Christian' culture. It's impossible to know what to expect; where your role should be; and who is getting ready to tell you how you've failed in it.
Such 'equality' that we've hoped for has made it easy to wear jeans and vote, but how easy is it now to wear yourself? And that's assuming one’s self has been found. Where is the balance between being dependent and independent? How do I become a strong woman without becoming harsh? How can I be vulnerable without drowning myself in sorrow?
I have no answers, only more questions.
The world is facing a lot of problems, and they're only going to get worse in the next 50 years. I'm working at further placing my trust in God, and not in the US, etc.
Rebekah-
This was a great post. I'm terribly interested in this question of male/female roles, probably because I don't fit what it has traditionally meant to be a man. I mean I don't like guns or violence (I border line hate that stuff in tv or movies), I love art and being creative, I honestly wouldn't mind staying home to raise the kids (although I would go crazy without doing some kind of career in addition to that), I'm fairly emotionally intelligent (I think), I hate the stupid "macho" contests I see going in the gym or even at church...there's more I could say but you get the point.
The only helpful thing for me concerning gender roles is that I can only be who I am. I'm sympathetic towards china doll and her struggle to be herself. I also think the questions she asked in her post are ones we all wrestle with. I agree there are genuine differences in men and women but at the end of the day I don't think it matters much if we concretely identify those differences. I truly think the most important thing is to know God and yourself.
Great post again...we should talk more about this at Maxwell's.
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