Have you ever had those days where you're so certain your email system must be broken that you send yourself an email? Several times? And then still aren't convinced that gmail is only letting emails from you through?
That's today. I've sent enough email questions/requests/queries out into the cyberscape yesterday and today that my inbox should read that I have new mail. But no. Nothing. So the fact remains, gmail isn't working...spread the word. (*wry grin*)
In other news, I'm baking Amish Friendship Bread tomorrow morning. I have my oven all set so that it's pre-heated by 6am and ready for my two pans of dough. I'm pretty pumped. And then I'm bringing three starter bags to work. Woohoo! I hope it tastes good.
In addition to it feeling like one of those days when the email is broken, it feels like one of those weeks where everything points to the fact that I'm slowly becoming crazy. The random voices in the middle of a meeting yesterday (which of course stopped when I tried to point them out), the misplacement of my checkbook which I of course put somewhere I would remember, and the random tears when they accidentally gave me the wrong doctor yesterday - which they quickly fixed in under two minutes.
Is it Friday yet?
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Friday, February 23, 2007
winds of change
I just ate my first banana ever.
Besides the kind in fruit salads, I mean.
It was.....interesting.
Besides the kind in fruit salads, I mean.
It was.....interesting.
conversations
I had a great conversation tonight with my roommate from sophomore year. So great. We covered a lot of ground, and there are some topics about which I want to blog....so as not to forget.
One of the things I've been thinking about a lot lately is how to manage the struggle between working in a world that is essentially still masculine while remaining feminine. There's this expectation that to succeed in business, you must be independent, strong, opinionated....essentially wear some pants, grow some balls. Well, that's fine - that's not just taught in business school, it's actually taught from birth. Somehow I walked away with this perception that it's not okay to worry about breaking a nail, messing up my hair, and wondering who's going to pump my gas. I somehow got the message that being "girly" is not okay if I expected to make anything worthwhile of myself. On the other side of the coin, however, is this expectation that to get married/become a wife/be a good girlfriend you have to be feminine. You have a better chance if you're dependent instead of independent, unopinionated instead of opinionated, and super girly instead of do-it-yourself. And while there are those challenging this thought - it seems as though it may be true. And so while it can be argued that the world is a better place for women today, I would argue that it's more difficult: Choose the masculine traits and you'll succeed in business (but fail in love or end up with a guy who's ball-less)...OR...choose the feminite traits, and you'll succeed in love (but never make it in a real job). It's a struggle I'm focusing more and more on....is it possible to succeed at both? Or does it just appear possible and fail in reality/behind the scenes/in the nitty gritty. Bottom line - I subscribe to the thought that there is a difference between men and women....and as women we have a lot more learning to do before we reclaim our identities.
The other topic we covered was in regard to a speaker my friend heard at a recent class she's attending. The speaker covered the history of the church through it's rises and falls. The interesting point that was made was that a country/entity/city/etc, through it's fall, would spread the word of God. Through the country's loss of land or power, another nation gained...not just in land or power...but also in spiritual knowledge and growth. The speaker saw the 9/11 events as a precurser to the eventual fall of the US. My mind immediately flew to the fall of Rome and conditions post demise. I'm seeing myself in rags, digging in the gutter. But then I recalled everyone's favorite book, "The World Is Flat", and realized my immediate perception was most likely not potential reality. Our fall could be in power....or in industry/jobs....etc. Perhaps it will look like the US as sweatshops to the rest of the world. Perhaps it will look like a loss of brain power as our college/post-college educated citizens leave for better jobs in <*insert country here*>. Or could it be a moral fall. Could it be that the US is destined to fall into complete moral depravity. Where our country is no longer held up as a dream life - but instead portrayed as what to avoid. There are many possibilities - but an interesting aspect that actually just occurred to me is how the panic that invades me at the thought of the demise of the US could actually raise the concern that perhaps I've placed faith in a nation instead of in God. A fallen America has no eternal impact...and yet I think the thought freaks people out. Interesting.
Okay. I had/have more - but I need to sleep. Perhaps more later.
Out friends,
-R
One of the things I've been thinking about a lot lately is how to manage the struggle between working in a world that is essentially still masculine while remaining feminine. There's this expectation that to succeed in business, you must be independent, strong, opinionated....essentially wear some pants, grow some balls. Well, that's fine - that's not just taught in business school, it's actually taught from birth. Somehow I walked away with this perception that it's not okay to worry about breaking a nail, messing up my hair, and wondering who's going to pump my gas. I somehow got the message that being "girly" is not okay if I expected to make anything worthwhile of myself. On the other side of the coin, however, is this expectation that to get married/become a wife/be a good girlfriend you have to be feminine. You have a better chance if you're dependent instead of independent, unopinionated instead of opinionated, and super girly instead of do-it-yourself. And while there are those challenging this thought - it seems as though it may be true. And so while it can be argued that the world is a better place for women today, I would argue that it's more difficult: Choose the masculine traits and you'll succeed in business (but fail in love or end up with a guy who's ball-less)...OR...choose the feminite traits, and you'll succeed in love (but never make it in a real job). It's a struggle I'm focusing more and more on....is it possible to succeed at both? Or does it just appear possible and fail in reality/behind the scenes/in the nitty gritty. Bottom line - I subscribe to the thought that there is a difference between men and women....and as women we have a lot more learning to do before we reclaim our identities.
The other topic we covered was in regard to a speaker my friend heard at a recent class she's attending. The speaker covered the history of the church through it's rises and falls. The interesting point that was made was that a country/entity/city/etc, through it's fall, would spread the word of God. Through the country's loss of land or power, another nation gained...not just in land or power...but also in spiritual knowledge and growth. The speaker saw the 9/11 events as a precurser to the eventual fall of the US. My mind immediately flew to the fall of Rome and conditions post demise. I'm seeing myself in rags, digging in the gutter. But then I recalled everyone's favorite book, "The World Is Flat", and realized my immediate perception was most likely not potential reality. Our fall could be in power....or in industry/jobs....etc. Perhaps it will look like the US as sweatshops to the rest of the world. Perhaps it will look like a loss of brain power as our college/post-college educated citizens leave for better jobs in <*insert country here*>. Or could it be a moral fall. Could it be that the US is destined to fall into complete moral depravity. Where our country is no longer held up as a dream life - but instead portrayed as what to avoid. There are many possibilities - but an interesting aspect that actually just occurred to me is how the panic that invades me at the thought of the demise of the US could actually raise the concern that perhaps I've placed faith in a nation instead of in God. A fallen America has no eternal impact...and yet I think the thought freaks people out. Interesting.
Okay. I had/have more - but I need to sleep. Perhaps more later.
Out friends,
-R
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
spring?
It seems like it may be here.... The sky is just a bit more blue, the clouds a little more puffy, the sun is actually shining, and every so often I hear a few chirping birds. Spring!! And then, summer!!
Tonight I'm sorting through old papers/receipts/bills (and then going to bed early...i know, you wish you were as cool as me). And at times like tonight it hits me how much can happen in a year. I think back to what my life looked like a year ago and what's transpired since then - I often have a hard time believing it's only been a year. Seriously. One year. Life moves at a warp speed. I don't know if it's that life is moving faster than I'm expecting, or if it's just that so much can happen. To some extent, it feels like decisions are that much more important now. A flip decision can dramatically impact life. Maybe there's the thought that I can't just continue to live life without a thought that what I do today will impact tomorrow. Will. I'm contemplative tonight in the absence of a better topic.
My madison visit was so much fun. :o) I can't get over the community that exists in that city. I miss that "smaller" town feel of a christian community. It's so easy to feel lost in a city like Minneapolis. Madison is nice. :o)
Okay. More sorting, some tea, and bed.
Tonight I'm sorting through old papers/receipts/bills (and then going to bed early...i know, you wish you were as cool as me). And at times like tonight it hits me how much can happen in a year. I think back to what my life looked like a year ago and what's transpired since then - I often have a hard time believing it's only been a year. Seriously. One year. Life moves at a warp speed. I don't know if it's that life is moving faster than I'm expecting, or if it's just that so much can happen. To some extent, it feels like decisions are that much more important now. A flip decision can dramatically impact life. Maybe there's the thought that I can't just continue to live life without a thought that what I do today will impact tomorrow. Will. I'm contemplative tonight in the absence of a better topic.
My madison visit was so much fun. :o) I can't get over the community that exists in that city. I miss that "smaller" town feel of a christian community. It's so easy to feel lost in a city like Minneapolis. Madison is nice. :o)
Okay. More sorting, some tea, and bed.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
this is not your house
So. Every monday night i meet with seven other girl friends from high school for coffee. We've been going to the same starbucks for about three years now. They recognize us (even though we switched from tuesday to monday...ps the tuesday night employees are WAY better at making coffee). They used to have this couch that we always sat on/around/etc. It was lime green, until it'd been there for about two years and then it was more of a brownish-lime green. They replaced it with this lovely leather couch. Very nice. Very supple. Very comfortable. And very USED BY NOT US. Apparently monday night is a popular night at starbucks. We can deal with it - it's usually a bunch of 16 year old girls who have to get home by curfew - so we're usually only without our couch for maybe 45 minutes. (we tend to sit close by....and as our conversations tend to be loud and personal...they usually are scared away.....oops!) :o)
Well. Tonight. Tonight took the cake. I walked in to see our couch was taken. Typical. What was NOT typical was that it was a couple. A very amorous couple. The lady was almost stradling the guy! And while one might not be as shocked if this was a couple of high school/college kids who couldn't handle the cold in the car...these people were parental age!! They both probably have homes. According to Sarah who'd arrived early in order to do some studying, they'd already been there for two hours. Making out! We (there were six tonight) and two other couples were all jammed in the back of starbucks in order to avoid the PDA! Seriously people! This is NOT your bedroom!! So the public sex people finally left and we reclaimed the couch (after loudly hoping they didn't have skin herpes).
We sit down and our hockey coach "friend" (the guy who sits really close and then (we think) blogs about our coversations) arrives. He sits down in the corner - about 20 feet from where we're discussing the various aspects of traveling to china, poo in a long-term residential living home, how to handle awkward relationships, etc - and proceeds to host a radio show. HOST A RADIO SHOW FROM STARBUCKS! Ummm...hello! This is NOT your office!!!
How odd. Erinn, another coffee girl, was assigned to blog on this as well. Here's her take on the situation. Isn't she fantastic?!
(there was more to this post, but unfortunately, blogspot ate it and i don't remember what i wrote. grr.)
Well. Tonight. Tonight took the cake. I walked in to see our couch was taken. Typical. What was NOT typical was that it was a couple. A very amorous couple. The lady was almost stradling the guy! And while one might not be as shocked if this was a couple of high school/college kids who couldn't handle the cold in the car...these people were parental age!! They both probably have homes. According to Sarah who'd arrived early in order to do some studying, they'd already been there for two hours. Making out! We (there were six tonight) and two other couples were all jammed in the back of starbucks in order to avoid the PDA! Seriously people! This is NOT your bedroom!! So the public sex people finally left and we reclaimed the couch (after loudly hoping they didn't have skin herpes).
We sit down and our hockey coach "friend" (the guy who sits really close and then (we think) blogs about our coversations) arrives. He sits down in the corner - about 20 feet from where we're discussing the various aspects of traveling to china, poo in a long-term residential living home, how to handle awkward relationships, etc - and proceeds to host a radio show. HOST A RADIO SHOW FROM STARBUCKS! Ummm...hello! This is NOT your office!!!
How odd. Erinn, another coffee girl, was assigned to blog on this as well. Here's her take on the situation. Isn't she fantastic?!
(there was more to this post, but unfortunately, blogspot ate it and i don't remember what i wrote. grr.)
Monday, February 12, 2007
getting older
So, things to know. Apparently your warranty runs out when you're 25. And, it seems, you turn into your mother. Or so far, that's how it's working for me....
Ever since I was probably around six years old and my Mom made me some tea with honey in it for my sore throat, I've hated and despised tea. I would rather drink nothing than drink tea. And now what do I drink every morning? That's right. Tea. And I love it. No more coffee or caffeine for me. Just herbal tea. And every time I hold the mug/cup and see the string and label, I shake my head. What is that?
Have I mentioned I love the people at work? Seriously. Such a great group. :o) Smiles all the time.
AND, who knows what holiday is coming up on WEDNESDAY?? I'll give you a hint....there's a lot of love and pink and candy and hearts....yay!! I'll be baking my little heart away tomorrow evening in preparation! Heart shaped cookies, here I come!
Okay, dinner is ready! And then, pilates.
Shout out to the Madison folks. SO excited for this weekend!!! :-D
-R
Ever since I was probably around six years old and my Mom made me some tea with honey in it for my sore throat, I've hated and despised tea. I would rather drink nothing than drink tea. And now what do I drink every morning? That's right. Tea. And I love it. No more coffee or caffeine for me. Just herbal tea. And every time I hold the mug/cup and see the string and label, I shake my head. What is that?
Have I mentioned I love the people at work? Seriously. Such a great group. :o) Smiles all the time.
AND, who knows what holiday is coming up on WEDNESDAY?? I'll give you a hint....there's a lot of love and pink and candy and hearts....yay!! I'll be baking my little heart away tomorrow evening in preparation! Heart shaped cookies, here I come!
Okay, dinner is ready! And then, pilates.
Shout out to the Madison folks. SO excited for this weekend!!! :-D
-R
Sunday, February 11, 2007
an answer to why
I was asked, back in october, why I blog. I've been thinking about that ever since and haven't necessarily come up with good reasons. In fact, if recent life events are any indication, I probably shouldn't blog since anyone can find these things. But, there's something there. There's something carthetic about getting my thoughts out onto paper (as electronic as it may be) and thinking through things as I write. It helps me put everything in order...or at least begin to put things in order. And sometimes, as in this week's grey's anatomy episode, it gives a feeling of keeping yourself from fading away into nothingness. I'm leaving an imprint, or something.
Either way, I was really looking forward to writing about the Bible Study Methods class I started this weekend at church. We're going through the book How to read the bible for all its worth. And yes, it's possessive "its"...not it is. This differentiation was specified in the preface. I knew right then that these authors and I were going to get along. The other really neat thing was how closely their writing styles were to my own. It sometimes takes me a little bit of time to get used to the syntax and style of an author - but these guys comma and fragment just like I do. It made me smile. Anyway, that's not the main point. It's secondary. :o)
The main point is, this bible study methods is really really cool. First, it was supposed to be five and a half hours over two days, but we ended up spending around six and a half hours. It seriously felt like 20 minutes. The time just flew! We learned so much, but didn't even make it past the sixth chapter....and most of those were just an overview. I walked away feeling better positioned to reading deeper into my bible passages. I think one of the neatest things though, was as we talked about different passages and how they've been used/interpreted in the past, I saw how blessed I am.
I know I've talked about this before. I had an amazing childhood, birthdays are a huge event, i'm an adult female who's favorite holiday is valentine's day because it's an opportunity to share love...basically, my parents are amazing. And now, now that I'm sitting down and learning all the different ways that the Bible has been used and interpreted, I'm finding out how blessed I am that I had solid, Bible-believing and teaching, God-fearing parents. When we started a few passages by learning that we'd probably been using them incorrectly our whole lives, worrying that I had been, and then been completely blown away by what people have used the passage for....i was amazed at how accurate the majority of the teaching I've received about/on the Bible is. At the same time, it scares the crap out of me because of the responsiblity I have to teach the Bible correctly. I have second through fourth graders that are taking my interpretation of the Bible as correct. And I of course believe what I'm saying. But I think back to all of the sunday school lessons that stuck with me....and it scares me. What if I say something wrong and that's what sticks with them? That's an intense amount of pressure. I know God's present and assisting, but wow. I've never felt the weight of the position before. Prayer would be great, if you have a chance.
In other news, went ice skating tonight and rented hockey skates! Can I just say how much more amazing those are than figure skates?! Holy crap! I actually liked skating tonight! I could do crossovers on the turns and glide back and forth and even dance to the music! Best skating night EVER! :o)
Time for bed. Out!
-R
Either way, I was really looking forward to writing about the Bible Study Methods class I started this weekend at church. We're going through the book How to read the bible for all its worth. And yes, it's possessive "its"...not it is. This differentiation was specified in the preface. I knew right then that these authors and I were going to get along. The other really neat thing was how closely their writing styles were to my own. It sometimes takes me a little bit of time to get used to the syntax and style of an author - but these guys comma and fragment just like I do. It made me smile. Anyway, that's not the main point. It's secondary. :o)
The main point is, this bible study methods is really really cool. First, it was supposed to be five and a half hours over two days, but we ended up spending around six and a half hours. It seriously felt like 20 minutes. The time just flew! We learned so much, but didn't even make it past the sixth chapter....and most of those were just an overview. I walked away feeling better positioned to reading deeper into my bible passages. I think one of the neatest things though, was as we talked about different passages and how they've been used/interpreted in the past, I saw how blessed I am.
I know I've talked about this before. I had an amazing childhood, birthdays are a huge event, i'm an adult female who's favorite holiday is valentine's day because it's an opportunity to share love...basically, my parents are amazing. And now, now that I'm sitting down and learning all the different ways that the Bible has been used and interpreted, I'm finding out how blessed I am that I had solid, Bible-believing and teaching, God-fearing parents. When we started a few passages by learning that we'd probably been using them incorrectly our whole lives, worrying that I had been, and then been completely blown away by what people have used the passage for....i was amazed at how accurate the majority of the teaching I've received about/on the Bible is. At the same time, it scares the crap out of me because of the responsiblity I have to teach the Bible correctly. I have second through fourth graders that are taking my interpretation of the Bible as correct. And I of course believe what I'm saying. But I think back to all of the sunday school lessons that stuck with me....and it scares me. What if I say something wrong and that's what sticks with them? That's an intense amount of pressure. I know God's present and assisting, but wow. I've never felt the weight of the position before. Prayer would be great, if you have a chance.
In other news, went ice skating tonight and rented hockey skates! Can I just say how much more amazing those are than figure skates?! Holy crap! I actually liked skating tonight! I could do crossovers on the turns and glide back and forth and even dance to the music! Best skating night EVER! :o)
Time for bed. Out!
-R
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
Wal-Mart's MECCA
I'm actually pretty excited to be here. Bentonville. Walmartville. Hicksville. :o) THERE'S A WAFFLE HOUSE!!!
So. First. Can I just say how much I love the show growing pains?? I think I have a crush on Mike....even thought it's totally old school.....he's so stinkin cute!!! (And then I found out it was Kirk Cameron....who I've always thought was cute. I was so bummed (in what, sixth grade) when I found out he was married.) But seriously. Such a good show!!!
Now, Bentonville. I show up at the mpls airport to fly out, and BOY was Emily right. You know how when you're driving into the airport and start merging to get in line to ticket/baggage/parking/whatever? Well, the first part of the building you see...the part that's farthest from the parking garage/checkin/security is where my gate was. Seriously. It was the farthest possible gate from which to depart!! A14. OH MY GOSH it blew chunks to walk that far. Then we get into Bentonville...and seriously...you get off into this thing that feels like a warehouse. And all I could think was, did walmart build this too?? Got my rental car (pretty sweet except the gas pedal is like 10 feet farther back than the brake...what's up with that?) and headed to the hotel. Fricken drive through the country...made me think I was totally lost for about 15 minutes....thank you mister walmart truck driver who went 10 miles under the speed limit. 11:50am...don't worry, I'm in no rush to get to bed. Get to the hotel JUST as the fire engine with flashing lights pulls up. Mmmm hm. Fire Engine. Flashing lights. Nothing much to note....apparently the alarm went off the lady didn't know to just hit acknowledge. Always hit acknowledge and it will shut up. So while she ran around with the firemen, i waited with an elderly gentleman and all of the smokers who stared as they came back in. Seriously, where are your manners. And now, I'm in my hotel room (which is quite nice....it even has a recliner/lazyboy thing!) and listening to TV through my wall....thanks neighbors. But really, I do like business travel. It kinda makes me feel all grown up. awww. :o)
And now, time for bed. I've been told I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow morning....i'll need some luck for that. G'night!
So. First. Can I just say how much I love the show growing pains?? I think I have a crush on Mike....even thought it's totally old school.....he's so stinkin cute!!! (And then I found out it was Kirk Cameron....who I've always thought was cute. I was so bummed (in what, sixth grade) when I found out he was married.) But seriously. Such a good show!!!
Now, Bentonville. I show up at the mpls airport to fly out, and BOY was Emily right. You know how when you're driving into the airport and start merging to get in line to ticket/baggage/parking/whatever? Well, the first part of the building you see...the part that's farthest from the parking garage/checkin/security is where my gate was. Seriously. It was the farthest possible gate from which to depart!! A14. OH MY GOSH it blew chunks to walk that far. Then we get into Bentonville...and seriously...you get off into this thing that feels like a warehouse. And all I could think was, did walmart build this too?? Got my rental car (pretty sweet except the gas pedal is like 10 feet farther back than the brake...what's up with that?) and headed to the hotel. Fricken drive through the country...made me think I was totally lost for about 15 minutes....thank you mister walmart truck driver who went 10 miles under the speed limit. 11:50am...don't worry, I'm in no rush to get to bed. Get to the hotel JUST as the fire engine with flashing lights pulls up. Mmmm hm. Fire Engine. Flashing lights. Nothing much to note....apparently the alarm went off the lady didn't know to just hit acknowledge. Always hit acknowledge and it will shut up. So while she ran around with the firemen, i waited with an elderly gentleman and all of the smokers who stared as they came back in. Seriously, where are your manners. And now, I'm in my hotel room (which is quite nice....it even has a recliner/lazyboy thing!) and listening to TV through my wall....thanks neighbors. But really, I do like business travel. It kinda makes me feel all grown up. awww. :o)
And now, time for bed. I've been told I need to be bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow morning....i'll need some luck for that. G'night!
Monday, February 05, 2007
war, for real
You know how we're at war? Tonight, at 7:01 I talked to my friend from high school who was getting on his plane to ship out. He was saying goodbye right as his plane was boarding. Six months over "there"....back for six or so months...and then back for probably another year. Why does it still seem like it's fake?
Sunday, February 04, 2007
mary and martha
My grandma was really mad my parents wouldn't name my sister and I Mary and Martha. Yes, we were given Biblical names, but apparently they weren't good enough Biblical names. This is not the point of my post.
I've been noodling for the past three weeks on the sermon series we're going through at church. I've really connected with the perspective Trike's been giving us. It's the story of Lazarus, whose sisters were Mary and Martha. A quick synopsis of the story is that Lazarus gets really sick, Mary and Martha send word to Jesus in hopes that He'll heal Lazarus, Jesus says his sickness won't end in death but for the Glory of God, Jesus goes to Jerusalem, and Lazarus dies. First thought is of course - what the heck!? Jesus said he wouldn't die, but then goes to Jerusalem, and Lazarus dies! What's up with that!?
This is just the coolest thing. So, the verse says: "So the sisters sent word to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick." But when Jesus heard this, He said, "This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it." Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was." (John 11:3-6)
Note the part where the verse says, "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, SO when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was." What?! He loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus - knew Lazarus was so sick he might die - and because of His love (BECAUSE of His love), he did NOTHING? How does that make sense??
And it comes down to this. Joy. Praise. Overflowing excitement. When we get super excited about something, like the Bears winning the SuperBowl.....we say "well the Bears are AWESOME and have a fantastic defense and YAY! They're just so great!" We're praising them. We're so super excited and joyful about something, all we can do is say how great it is. Well, same thing. Jesus allows Lazarus to die so that he can raise him from the dead, BECAUSE he knows that Mary/Martha/entire town of mourners will be MUCH more joyful when he brings him back than they would have been if he had just cured Lazarus. And through that, He gets glorified. He fills them up with joy, and it's so overflowing - He ends up getting praised.
It's a bit of a circular reasoning, but it's once you wrap your head around it, it's amazing. First, he's asking, Do you trust Me? One of the verses that I haven't included yet is the shortest verse in the Bible: "Jesus wept." But it communicates so much. The actual translation of the verse where the Bible says he is deeply moved by hearing that Lazarus was in the tomb (dead dead) is that he snorted like a horse. He was so touched, so moved, so affected by the sorrow that Mary and Martha felt, that he snorted like a horse. He wept. And isn't that comforting? Jesus knows that there is Glory and Joy and Praise on the other side of the suffering, but he weeps, mourns, agonizes with the sisters. He feels the same pain we're feeling. Sometimes it's pain he's allowed to occur in our life. And he allows it to occur OUT OF LOVE for us. He knows that the result, the end of the story, the last word will be so much more than we could ever dream.
Our hope is not in a dream job, an amazing house, the coolest car, a great relationship. Our hope is cemented in the fact that one day there's something more. Something better. Something profoundly, insanely, crazily more than we could ever hope. God is never late. Everything. Everything is for the glory of God.
It's so easy to get tangled up in thinking that things/people down here are going to make everything "better". That our current suffereng/sadness/depression will be solved when <*insert dream here*> happens. But that's when everything because worthless. That's when we look around and all of a sudden wonder what the point of it all is. "For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever." (Romans 1:25) They "exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man" (Romans 1:23a). Because if we don't hang onto the truth that all of this happens so that in the end God is humongously praised, it's worthless.
And that gives me hope. It may not seem like things are going to work out. It may not seem like life makes any sense at all. But remembering that this life is short and it's the end that's going to be worth something, that makes now make sense. "And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." (Romans 5:2b)
Cool, huh?
I've been noodling for the past three weeks on the sermon series we're going through at church. I've really connected with the perspective Trike's been giving us. It's the story of Lazarus, whose sisters were Mary and Martha. A quick synopsis of the story is that Lazarus gets really sick, Mary and Martha send word to Jesus in hopes that He'll heal Lazarus, Jesus says his sickness won't end in death but for the Glory of God, Jesus goes to Jerusalem, and Lazarus dies. First thought is of course - what the heck!? Jesus said he wouldn't die, but then goes to Jerusalem, and Lazarus dies! What's up with that!?
This is just the coolest thing. So, the verse says: "So the sisters sent word to Him, saying, "Lord, behold, he whom You love is sick." But when Jesus heard this, He said, "This sickness is not to end in death, but for the glory of God, so that the Son of God may be glorified by it." Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. So when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was." (John 11:3-6)
Note the part where the verse says, "Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus, SO when He heard that he was sick, He then stayed two days longer in the place where He was." What?! He loved Martha, Mary, and Lazarus - knew Lazarus was so sick he might die - and because of His love (BECAUSE of His love), he did NOTHING? How does that make sense??
And it comes down to this. Joy. Praise. Overflowing excitement. When we get super excited about something, like the Bears winning the SuperBowl.....we say "well the Bears are AWESOME and have a fantastic defense and YAY! They're just so great!" We're praising them. We're so super excited and joyful about something, all we can do is say how great it is. Well, same thing. Jesus allows Lazarus to die so that he can raise him from the dead, BECAUSE he knows that Mary/Martha/entire town of mourners will be MUCH more joyful when he brings him back than they would have been if he had just cured Lazarus. And through that, He gets glorified. He fills them up with joy, and it's so overflowing - He ends up getting praised.
It's a bit of a circular reasoning, but it's once you wrap your head around it, it's amazing. First, he's asking, Do you trust Me? One of the verses that I haven't included yet is the shortest verse in the Bible: "Jesus wept." But it communicates so much. The actual translation of the verse where the Bible says he is deeply moved by hearing that Lazarus was in the tomb (dead dead) is that he snorted like a horse. He was so touched, so moved, so affected by the sorrow that Mary and Martha felt, that he snorted like a horse. He wept. And isn't that comforting? Jesus knows that there is Glory and Joy and Praise on the other side of the suffering, but he weeps, mourns, agonizes with the sisters. He feels the same pain we're feeling. Sometimes it's pain he's allowed to occur in our life. And he allows it to occur OUT OF LOVE for us. He knows that the result, the end of the story, the last word will be so much more than we could ever dream.
Our hope is not in a dream job, an amazing house, the coolest car, a great relationship. Our hope is cemented in the fact that one day there's something more. Something better. Something profoundly, insanely, crazily more than we could ever hope. God is never late. Everything. Everything is for the glory of God.
It's so easy to get tangled up in thinking that things/people down here are going to make everything "better". That our current suffereng/sadness/depression will be solved when <*insert dream here*> happens. But that's when everything because worthless. That's when we look around and all of a sudden wonder what the point of it all is. "For they exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever." (Romans 1:25) They "exchanged the glory of the incorruptible God for an image in the form of corruptible man" (Romans 1:23a). Because if we don't hang onto the truth that all of this happens so that in the end God is humongously praised, it's worthless.
And that gives me hope. It may not seem like things are going to work out. It may not seem like life makes any sense at all. But remembering that this life is short and it's the end that's going to be worth something, that makes now make sense. "And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God." (Romans 5:2b)
Cool, huh?
Saturday, February 03, 2007
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